(Move the cursor over the blue coordinates to read a pop-up window with the quote of the Word of God. The interactive coordinates are visible ONLY on notebooks and desktops.)
With this testimony and personal experience I turn to all authorities. Especially to those who have primary by God given responsibility for their marriages, families, children, communities, churches and all the people entrusted to them by God. The names of the persons in my testimonies have been changed because my intention is to see nothing but the Word of God fulfilled:
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.“ (Malachi 6:5-6)
There have been my first years in the Church after my conversion. Everything was new and unknown to me but none of those responsible or who had been present as such to me in the community for some time, worried about explaining something to me. With the exception of the necessary guidelines concerning the promises. Only the voice of the Lord was clear to me, reliable and seemed to me to be the most obvious thing in the world. And not only that.From the mess of my life before my conversion, Jesus not only saved me, but also – true to His own Word – He literally gave me everything new (Revelation 21:5). And He continues to give.
The conversion has been working in me for several months now and God is bringing me into one of the “gates” of his Kingdom – in the community named Koinonia John the Baptist. He told me that His wish at that moment is, that I remain there until He comes back so that I can follow Him further. So I got to know an agapito (a group of 10 brothers and sisters in Christ within this large community) and its coordinator whom I will call Efraim. For me it was the first time ever, that I participated in such a thing and because I was the mother, I came to the group together with my then 3-year-old son. After our introduction, Efraim told me in the presence of my son and everyone else:
“You will certainly never come to heaven, but hell, because you are divorced!” For me it was a double shock immediately: someone who has been given the responsibility by the church TO LEAD the people to God has already damned me to hell (!). He had elevated himself as my judge and executioner. And by doing so he has just made it clear, he did not understand the message of the Lord at all: Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. (James 1:27). Ephraim clearly did not understood the fact that when God brings mothers (or fathers) with children from broken families to Himself, He does so with the intention of give these children, through and in His own body – the church, new fathers or mothers. We are not talking about remarriage here, but about an example of a man or a woman of Christ. How should a Christian man/ woman or father/ mother behave? But because of his incomprehension and enormous lack of love, we were both convicted at that time: me and my little son. What was worse than his judgment was a message that Ephraim gave to in this way to my son. Instead of “honour your mother” my son had to hear: “Deny your mother, judge her and condemn her.” And everyone watched, but not one did anything to stop him in his foolishness.
Was his behaviour the will of God? Certainly not. Efraim showed everyone that he was still absolutely not ready, nor prepared to do this entrusted task according to God’s will and to lead God’s people to the Lord. Efraim has only followed his own small interests. In his thoughts and his heart there was no place for understanding of the oppressed, nor of despised, nor of the needy. And so it came to light what had been deep in the darkness of his own heart for so long. His behaviour certainly did not break my faith. On the contrary, after talking about with the Lord, He called me again: “Follow Me!”
After this shocking experience and indignation of my son, I had asked the responsible priest for help. I will call him Gallio (Acts 18:17). When I told him what had happened, he did not even think about to give me even the smallest answer. Next verse of the Bible literally and figuratively reflects my situation by then: …and beat him before the judgment seat. And Gallio cared for none of those things.. And because the responsible priest pretended nothing happened, Efraim felt even encouraged to call me back with great complacency: “Gallio always saw me as his own father. That is why he will always do what I want.” How tragic if a person does not believe the Word of God as the true Word of God but as ordinary words. A person with so little respect for God does not see, does not know the Lord. And even in the church of the Living God will only follow his own interests, desires and fear and not the will of God. It does not matter what function was entrusted to him. I could only see again that just like Ephraim, Gallio did not understand the Word of God: Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world… The wound in my heart could not heal, but had deepened. Because the Lord spoke through the apostle Peter: “Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being examples to the flock.“ (1Peter 5:2-3). But I did not find understanding, knowledge, the love of God and correct behaviour by Gallio. Only the Lord himself was with me this time and encouraged me: “Follow Me!”
Caiphas (the bishop):
I have been a Christian for several years now and through the events in my son’s school, the Lord has sent me to the ecclesiastical authorities (the bishops) to bring them the message and ask them to help the children. The reasons are:
- The schools give tranquillizers to the children (medicals) so that children become calmer and do not run around in the lesson breaks;
- The teachers play esoteric, relaxing music in the classroom to children to bring them into alfa niveau to make them easier to manipulate;
- The children get together with religion lessons teachings of New Age and other false religions as well as anti-Christian subjects to learn.;
- The use of aromatherapy to calm children down
- Physical punishments of children who run on the playground during the breaks.
Immediately after the first incident, I transferred my son to another school after the first incident. But the parents of other children could not or did not want it and did not know what was going on. That is why I had asked the priest of the parish where we lived for help and he sent me to the bishop himself. I will call him Caiphas.
I explained everything to Caiphas and after I told him about the New Age practices at school, he told me this:
“Which school does your son visit?”
– I answered: “The Protestant College in the city.”
– Caiphas answered to me: “You gave your child to the devil himself and now you want God to protect him?”
– I asked him shockedly: “Dear brother in Christ, why don’t you talk about this fact on the inter-church prayer services yourself? Why don’t you say this directly in the eyes of all those present people there and your colleagues priests and pastors of the Protestant churches that a member of the Catholic Church who allows his child to study at the Protestant school is the same, as giving your child to the devil? Why this hypocritical behaviour? Does not God himself speak in His Word that He did not want to let He exist? How can you say something like that?”
Conclusion: another brother – this time the bishop of the Catholic Church – that Jesus does not believe his words and does not even know them. Instead of doing everything to help the youngest, he was only interested in the money that the non-Catholic school receives from me. However the Lord says:
“Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them. And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered. (Ezekiel 34:2-5)
This experience almost cost me my life. But at the end I actually have got a totally new life from the Lord. After years in the community I mentioned above, I have already a very rich experience with the persecution for the sake of the Word of God and the name of the Lord. And that is true I can testify about all sides and corners of the church. After one of the spiritual courses (being overloaded with incessant, long-term judgments from “the brothers and the sisters in the faith” about my person, family and my child) I did ask one of the community priests for a prayer for inner healing. Why?
Because for a single mother I was then (my marriage was annulated for the church just as before for the law) it became inhumane to me at certain times to encounter all these accusations, allegations, curses, slander, defamation, and judgments from those who should help me then to follow the path of the Lord. The prayer was preceded by the priest whom I shall call Saul. Together with him three other members of the community were present. I have not understood why, but the priest-even before he began to pray-has sworn three times to me, that no word of this prayer may come forth and that it is equivalent to a confessional secret. Then he said that this obligation to keep silent applies to all those present. But nothing was less true. Already during the prayer I notice that instead of knowledge or wisdom of the Lord, only his curiosity grows. The Lord confirmed what I distinguish and said to me: “Do not trust them if they speak to you sweetly.”I understood the message of the Lord and left this prayer early but I feel worse than before and I am very sorry to have asked for help ever. But this was by no means the end of the story. The next day I was called by a well-known priest who asked me the things that were only said the day before in prayer. Of course he also told me from whom he had heard them. But even that is not everything. The next day I went to confession (I was still catholic) and what a surprise: the priest in the church – without ever having seen me before, asked immediately: “Are you that woman….” and again I hear what was said only on that prayer. But this time everything is mixed with wild fantasies and lies – no truth.
In the evening I went to Mass and, what a surprise, even the priest spoke about that prayer in his message and told me after about my son that no one could know except the priest from the prayer for inner healing. Only God saw what was happening in my heart at that moment. Suddenly I realized that there was no place in the city where people had not gossiped about me. That was not all. The next day I was on my way to the store together with my son. Out of nowhere appears to us a woman who rages against me and my son rudely, calling and judging us for the sake of prayer for inner healing in which ultimately only four people have been present. I was devastated by impotence, shocked to the bone by the lies, hatred and curses that have constantly been told about us. Then my son asked:”Mams, why is everyone so bad to you, while you pray for everyone?” I could not give him an answer. Broken to the deep of my soul I put my son in his bed that night and drove to the Calvary on the other side of the city at midnight, thinking of suicide. When I got off the car, I saw the cross in front of the church. I could no longer restrain myself and began to scream out of powerlessness of my pain against the corpus on the cross: “Have you saved me so that I had to undergo all this? Do you amuse yourself? Is this the church that You came to erect? Why did you save me? So that I would commit suicide now?” The pain I felt in my soul was unbearable. My father’s strokes during my childhood have been nothing compared to this. I remember looking under my feet and tried to put my body on a rod so that I could jump and be pricked and everything would be “gone” forever. The moment I wanted to jump, I heard the voice of Jesus like never before:
“You can jump and think that your hell will stop. But that will only start.”
Suddenly I realize that He was there all this time! He had really listened to me! And He continued:
“If you stay I will show you that I am with you in everything, in every situation. You will see with your own eyes how I will fight for you. They have taken away from you the honour, the respect and the dignity of the human being and of the mother. They stripped you naked like Me. But now they have nothing left to take away from you. Follow Me!“
He’ve got me! The desire to see Jesus with my own eyes EVERY TIME , He will be there for me! This was stronger than everything. I did not think about anything else, just that He will be there for me. I immediately returned to my car and drove home. I forgave all these people immediately. Still, it took fifteen long years until these stripes completely healed.
To regret, the behaviour of the priest who caused all this has never changed. Even until today. I had never heard a single word of regret or apologies from him. He still preaches to others that for each negative word about his neighbour one must say ten positive things and reconcile himself with his brother or sister. But he himself never did this. Certainly not against me and my family. On the contrary. For several years after he tried to set up other people against me and to forbid me my service in the church which he did not succeed. A year later, the Lord sent me to Belgium.
None of those who should help me as a convert or a needy, stood then in his place. None of them served his responsibility as God had asked them to do. None used ever the word “I’m sorry”, none said ever: “forgive me”. None of them had ever thought about the consequences of their behaviour for the others in the body of Christ – the church. But what is even worse: they never thought of the consequences for their own lives. And there are consequences. Our Lord does not say for nothing: Whatever one sows will be harvested at the right time.
None of those who had been called to serve the Lord and to build His church had acted correctly. No one thought of Jesus who paid for all of us with His own blood. None of them had ever thought or understood what our good God had given to our children through the church: the new one “mothers” and “fathers”, “brothers” and “sisters” so that they will not remain without the right example for their lives. Me and my son had only found a spirit of selfishness, incomprehension, rebellion and idolatry. No interest in God’s will. No true, Christian love.
In my life in that community I did not find anyone who could show my son a true authority of a father which my son did miss so much. My son only needed an example of how a true man of God behaves. God has sent that to my son. God has prepared and paid all this long before we were born: but those we met in the church did not understand it, and instead of being example and help, they became judges and executioners to us both. Why? Because they had never understood what a community should serve. God is our good Father, and He had given this to my son in my husband, in a new land where He had sent us. But this is already a different story.
Derek Prince has written in one of his great books: If the church fulfilled its mission of Jacob’s letter, then in the world there would never be so many aid organizations to help those in need. Why? Because that is precisely the true task and mission of the Church. Pure and immaculate piety is the replacement of fathers to children they had lost for whatever reason. Replacing the people who miss the families by those who will help them. The replacement of that male authority and the authority of the father-priest who had lost the families for whatever reason. I am not talking about literally remarrying here. This is what Jesus taught, did and for which Jesus was sent. He had confirmed this about himself at the beginning of his public ministry:
„The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.“ (Luke 4:18-19)
Jesus never broke anyone with a broken heart. He did not forsake anyone who was like a languid wing. He did not broke my fading wing. He healed my broken heart Himself because He knew: there was none found in the church who would do it; not one God’s servant was found in that church, which claims to be of Lord. May the Lord forgives them all.
- But where should all those single mothers or fathers go with their (orphan) children?
- Where should all true or social orphans go?
- Where do we send them if the churches only provide for their projects, festivals or other activities?
- Where should all needy people go when the churches do not want to have time to build the true body of Christ – His spiritual temple?
- And where will we send those to whom we preach the good news, repentance and forgiveness of sin if we do not live it sincerely?
To the Disco Cristo? To the Christian festival? Or to a chapel? Other gods? Or will we advise them to buy a book about their problem? It is time to awaken from our sleep and stop just looking at ourselves. It is time to stop to regard our interests and concerns and start to regard and see those of the Lord.
I write unto you, fathers: turn your hearts to the sons and the hearts of the sons will turn to you. So that the Lord does not have to come to smite the earth with a curse.